I'm a little confused by your story, anon, my heart aches for the mistreatment, but I'm glad you had a dad you described so....
I dont know why you think I disapprove re Spiderman. My point is that there are all kinds of women, exactly, but thats not what culture says. When an active, strong, zipping, zooming little girl can't find any female action figures, or at least doesn't see very many of them, then isn't it possible that gender dysphoria comes partly from culture (boy jealousy)? I want my daughter to get messages that women can be active, muscular, assertive, heroes, etc - if those are her personality and physical traits, then I want her to get messages that those can be part of being a girl.
What is really frustrating to me (as an enlightened, intelligent, educated, liberal, but by no means "bandwagon" type) is that in this day and age with the pendulum swung the other way- every time I want to do something to protect my daughter from factors that CAN BE CHANGED that may make it worse (ie, 1) a culture that says she should want to be a boy because the WAY she wants to be and act is not feminine; 2) high androgens because NOW the Drs are afraid of OVERtreating because that's what they were doing 20-30 yrs ago; 3) wanting her to have surgery though we did the utmost research on how conservative it was), so every time I assert my desire to protect her in this development, I get accused (and I don't mean from you, anon) of being the one with the problem, of not accepting her. (I'm sorry if this seems to direct at you, anon, it's not).
Protecting my daughter's development doesnt mean I am not accepting her! I haven't been the most feminine girl/ woman myself. This is not about that. Growing up and figuring out you're gay is hard enough, gender confusion and transgenderism has got to be hard, a really really hard road in life. Wanting to protect your child from that and trying to steer away from that if possible is simply protecting your child out of love.
I want to give my daughter messages (of unconditional acceptance and love of course) but also that she can be rough and tumble AS A GIRL, and to do this at this early stage. It is possible that part of the problem is that physical (and masculinized, whether by CAH or unknown factors) girls get a message from the culture that they should want to change their gender, instead of incorporating their traits into who they are and then feeling comfortbale as "Shes" (and the reverse could be true for boys who want to be girls).
I might as well try - and I wholeheartedly reject (and I dont mean that it's coming from you, anon, it's the sense from various sources), that by wanting my daughter to be glad she is a girl means that I am backwards, or 'not accepting' or "the one with the problem," etc. I am simply looking out for her.
~Peaches
(BTW I wanted to respond to something from a prev post- the DSM criteria- CAH just means one w/ Gender Identity Disorder will be given the suffix Not Otherwise Specified, but they can stil have GID, the NOS is just the APA's way of saying this possible "known hormonal/biological cause" group should be distinguished.)
