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re: re: re: Gender dysphoria in the very young Jul. 18th, 2008 12:29pm
WOW that was quite an article.
To Peaches:
Whatever the case is, I think you should seek some kind of counsel for her. But, be very careful what kind of cousel to choose. And after reading this article, the couselor you choose must be a professional in this field and have the child's best interest at heart. My daughter will turn 11 in a week. She is definately a tom boy, but has never complained about being a girl or wanting to be a boy. After reading your post, I tried to think of what I would do in the situation she would come to me and confide this to me and all I could think of is I would just reassure her how much I loved her for who she is. BUT, where cousel comes in is the child's own happiness and good mental health. It seems one of those parents counseled to help their boy, and change him. The other seemed to have embraced his needs and let him be him. BUT, to what extreme do you make this desicion? The boy down the street plays with the girls in my daughter's class. His favorite color is pink. He plays soccer but really perfers to play with the girls. He is 9. That is not extreme, if they could come up with a name for a boy wanting girl things I would use it as they do for girls that like to do boy things (tom boys). So I think you will have to see what your extreme is. I mean my cousin refused dresses and anything else girly growing up. But never said she wanted to be a boy. I know a ton of tom girls including the one typing this post. I had said to my mom at one point that I had wished I was a boy because it was no fair that they got to walk around with no top on during the hot summer days, and my mother made me keep my top on. I had two older brothers and a neighborhood full of boys. So I ran with them all the time. So you really have to define a tom boy, from a gender confusion. I know up to a certain age all girls and boys will play with both gender appropriate toys. (which I think is bull because hot wheels can be cool to play with too) But I am talking per societies rules. I am a preschool teacher and see a lot of boys dress up in the girls high heeled shoes, and hats and dresses, while the girls are off doing something else. When we had the water tub filled with naked baby dolls in soap suds for the kids to bathe the babies, it was the boys bathing the babies once again. So really you have to ask yourself, is this a true gender confusion she is experiencing? Or is this a tom girl thing, and she as I said at one point in my life, wished I was one of the boys because they got to wear no shirts during the summer. Then I would go from there. Because you don't want her unhappy the rest of her life. Perhaps a professional that handles gender confusion can help direct you. But I would do some major research to find one. YOU only know your child. So only you can make that call. Please let us know how things go with her. This has got to be so hard on you. Especially the unhappiness the child is enduring. NO ONE wants their children to be sad. Prayers and hugs to you.
