A lot of what you have described, Kacy, sounds like what each and every one of us, CAH or not, goes through during the teen year. The trouble is that with CAH it's hard to know what's normal teen angst and what's the CAH.
Here's some thing that may help:
1. CAH can produce depression, but since it's a chemically induced depression, it's actually easier to control. Simply look at things and if there's nothing concrete that should be making you feel bad, choose to not. It works for me.
2. The teen years are always confusing because you're discovering all those things that lead to adulthood. Your self-identity is one of the number one things that come into question. Be prepared to accept some things at face value. Variations in size do not make a female organ a male organ. Small breasts wouldn't make a girl a boy would it?
3. Everyone, and I mean everyone, wears masks. Not a mask, but masks. The Chinese have a saying that everyone wears 4 faces: one they show everyone, one they show their friends, one they show only to those closest to them, and one they show only to themselves. Just because all the other kids seem to have it all together, doesn't mean they do. They don't, they're just pretending they do, just as I'm sure you do when you're around other, just as every single human being that ever lived has done. Imagine an iceberg that was sad because she had this tremendous bulk of ice hidden beneath the water, and all the other ice bergs, apparently didn't.
4. Because of all the above, you feel different, when the truth is, you're very much like everyone else (another concept that teens have a problem with, since they want to feel "special", but that's another post).
Not on this board(since this is the kids board), but on another(maybe the Controversies Board), it would be interesting to have a discussion of those women who haven't had one or the other the surgery, about the pros and cons of life without either of those surgeries.
I hope this helped.
