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I am a 45 year old female, i have been diagnosed with CAH in the last ten yrs, but have had problems relating to it all my life now i look back in retrospect. I take daily meds aswel drugs for osteoporosis. I to keep on top of all the drugs and supplements but I also suffer with anxiety and depression, I also have a lot of pain in my neck and hips and terrible cramps. Sometimes I have my good days, even weeks, then it all creeps back up and I feel like i am going in a circle I miss taking my meds and send myself into disrepair. The other issues I would like to discuss is my sexuality and gender. I came out as a lesbian aged 21 but as the years went by I also had sex with men without any emotional commitment. I am now in a relationship with a female. During intercourse i enjoy being treated like a male but afterwards I dismiss My actions and feel guilty even though my partner enjoys our sex. Most times I can only perform after alcohol and sniffing poppers. When I mastarbate I fantasize mainly about being dominated by a male, In my head i feel like a straight male who goes in the public loos for gay sex in a roundabout way! I suppose i feel a bit isolated and If there are others out there who might share my experiences I would like to here from you.
